Copy of Full Mood logo (1200 × 1200 px)-3.png

June 17, 2022

SUBJECT: WHITE CHRISTMAS (S2E4)

Alyssa Goldberg

SUBJECT: WHITE CHRISTMAS (S2E4)

 

after Black Mirror

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 2, 2022 1:38am

dude, you know in Black Mirror, when the consciousness gets trapped 

inside a little egg and the small version of themselves has to suffer for 1000 years on repeat?

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 2, 2022 1:39am

remember, every time he tries to break the radio, another one appears?

 

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 2, 2022 1:42am

like...imagine you start throwing radios to smash them, and then like, four more appear. lol. just imagine it. it’s enough to make you go absolutely insane.

 

from: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

to: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

June 2, 2022 1:56am

I guess I’m imagining it. Sounds brutal. Before that, though, when his ex-fiance dies and he sees his “daughter” for the first time, and he finds out it’s not really his kid? And then he kills the grandfather with that “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday” song playing in the background? That part seriously messed me up, it was just soooo dark and twisted. Hard to believe someone could kill another person to something that festive lol. It honestly ruined the song for me.

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 2, 2022 2:01am

dude YES, exactly. I can’t hear that song without thinking of the show anymore. makes me feel like i’m the one experiencing 1000 years per minute.

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

june 2, 2022 2:10am

like at the end when the other guy gets blocked from everyone, and you find out he’s one of the bad guys too, and it’s like, is anyone in this episode actually a “good” guy? is joe actually the only good guy? he can’t be, because he killed someone, but you can’t help but feel bad for his consciousness, i mean, 1000 years a minute? is it okay to feel empathy toward a consciousness, is any of that real? it’s enough to make you want to throw up, and being blocked from everyone, what’s the point of living in an eternity of misery, just walking around an anonymous shadow, a darkness hovering over your head that everyone can see?

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 2, 2022 2:13am

i don’t think his consciousness actually knows what he did, like the other guy has to pull it out from him. and in the world he created, this actually takes 5 years.

 

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 2, 2022 2:21am

 

it’s crazy how the show conceptualizes time, a few hours ago feels like forever, but i could hold ten years in my hand.

 

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

june 2, 2022 3:06am

do you ever feel like maybe there’s a copy of you, maybe you’re the copy, maybe you’re the one who’s living in circles? sometimes i kinda feel like i’m screaming inside my head too, like there’s a voice that’s clawing to get out. i don’t know, maybe it’s just late and i’m just tired, and maybe i’m too obsessed with this episode. i think i’m too obsessed with this episode. i won’t go as far as to call that a bad thing though.

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 2, 2022 3:56am

fuck, i’m starting to feel like it’s a bad thing.

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 2, 2022 3:57am

is it a bad thing?

 

from: me <jaunt1981@gmail.com>

to: sapphiresteel@outlook.com

June 3, 2022 9:42am

|

 

Alyssa Goldberg lives in New York and studies Global Public Health and Applied Psychology at NYU. She writes about music and mental health for Sounds of Saving, Pleaser Magazine, Washington Square News, and Melodic Mag. Her work also appears/is forthcoming in Teen Vogue, Hobart After Dark, Bullshit Lit, Brave Voices Magazine, and elsewhere. Find her on Twitter @alyssaegoldberg or at alyssaegoldberg.com